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Monday, January 18, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
I'm Bored
Ok…I’m sorry to keep bothering you like this on a Sunday, but I’m fucking bored.
The Wife and Pink went to visit family for the day and I would have gone along but I’m on alert/telephone stand-by (as in stand-by for the anal rapin’) to go save some ass backwards country whose people fucking hate us any other day of the year except for those days where we just happen to be saving their worthless fucking lives. And in case you’re wondering, yes I do count New Orleans in this category.
Where was I?
Oh yeah…bored.
So here I am, alone all day in an empty house. I don’t do alone very well anymore…I never know what to do with myself. I’m like a little kid that way sometimes. I really do need constant supervision.
I did end up going to the gym after all. Yes, after all my pissing and moaning, I went anyway. I did a half assed shoulder workout cause there was no way I could pull off today’s crossfit…”Fight Gone Bad.” It was more a matter of logistics than laziness though. Some jackass decided it was a good idea to cover every square inch of the gym in town with mirrors so there is no where to throw a wall-ball and the gym on base is full of fuckin’ Haitians. (if that sentence didn’t make any sense to you, I suggest you google “Fight Gone Bad” and “fuckin’ Haitians”…I just don’t have the will power to explain every little thing to you people.)
On a totally different subject…how long are hard boiled eggs good for in the fridge?
Anyone?
The Wife and Pink went to visit family for the day and I would have gone along but I’m on alert/telephone stand-by (as in stand-by for the anal rapin’) to go save some ass backwards country whose people fucking hate us any other day of the year except for those days where we just happen to be saving their worthless fucking lives. And in case you’re wondering, yes I do count New Orleans in this category.
Where was I?
Oh yeah…bored.
So here I am, alone all day in an empty house. I don’t do alone very well anymore…I never know what to do with myself. I’m like a little kid that way sometimes. I really do need constant supervision.
I did end up going to the gym after all. Yes, after all my pissing and moaning, I went anyway. I did a half assed shoulder workout cause there was no way I could pull off today’s crossfit…”Fight Gone Bad.” It was more a matter of logistics than laziness though. Some jackass decided it was a good idea to cover every square inch of the gym in town with mirrors so there is no where to throw a wall-ball and the gym on base is full of fuckin’ Haitians. (if that sentence didn’t make any sense to you, I suggest you google “Fight Gone Bad” and “fuckin’ Haitians”…I just don’t have the will power to explain every little thing to you people.)
On a totally different subject…how long are hard boiled eggs good for in the fridge?
Anyone?
Lazy Sunday
I really don’t feel like doing anything today.
I got about halfway through my workout warm-up, but I’m just not feeling it. It was supposed to be in the mid forties today, so I had my heart set on getting some winter mountain biking in, but this pleasant Sunday is currently raining it’s ass off….so now I don’t want to do shit.
It really doesn’t help that my thighs are fucking killing me from yesterday’s workout. Take a look a couple posts back for a full description of the suck. I ended up doing 17 minutes and I only shorted a couple pull-up sets because the shitty gym I go to on the weekend only has one pull-up station so I had to wait on jackasses…at least that’s the excuse I’m currently going with. That has nothing to do with my sore legs though, but the forty seven thousand (estimate) squats I completed certainly do.
My half finished garage still needs plenty of work. It’s in exactly the same shape it was in when I last worked on the drywall...before I went to Afghanistan…in August. I told the old lady I was going to start again today, but like I said…I’m not feelin’ it.
Maybe I need some lunch…
Nope. Still lazy.
I got about halfway through my workout warm-up, but I’m just not feeling it. It was supposed to be in the mid forties today, so I had my heart set on getting some winter mountain biking in, but this pleasant Sunday is currently raining it’s ass off….so now I don’t want to do shit.
It really doesn’t help that my thighs are fucking killing me from yesterday’s workout. Take a look a couple posts back for a full description of the suck. I ended up doing 17 minutes and I only shorted a couple pull-up sets because the shitty gym I go to on the weekend only has one pull-up station so I had to wait on jackasses…at least that’s the excuse I’m currently going with. That has nothing to do with my sore legs though, but the forty seven thousand (estimate) squats I completed certainly do.
My half finished garage still needs plenty of work. It’s in exactly the same shape it was in when I last worked on the drywall...before I went to Afghanistan…in August. I told the old lady I was going to start again today, but like I said…I’m not feelin’ it.
Maybe I need some lunch…
Nope. Still lazy.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Crossfit
Here’s tomorrow’s Crossfit workout:
“With a continuously running clock, squat for 60 seconds. Subtract the number of squats completed from 60, and do that many pull-ups in minute two. In minute three, squat again, subtracting the number completed from 60. Do that number of push-ups in minute four. Minute five is squatting again, and minute six pull-ups.
The pattern is squats, pull-ups, squats, push-ups, squats, pull-ups, etc. The goal is to stay within the workout's formula for as long as possible.
Don't do more than 60 squats in any round.
In any case, stay moving for 12 minutes.”
Now I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure this is going to suck ass. I’ll let you know how it goes.
I actually need to burn off some stress…I’ve had a fairly shitty day. One of the kids I babysit and by “kids I babysit” I mean grown men I supervise, popped positive for weed. And that somehow translates to an assload more work for me.
When will people learn that doing drugs is just wrong? I learned a long time ago that there is no amount of alcohol that you can drink that makes it illegal.
Fucktards.
“With a continuously running clock, squat for 60 seconds. Subtract the number of squats completed from 60, and do that many pull-ups in minute two. In minute three, squat again, subtracting the number completed from 60. Do that number of push-ups in minute four. Minute five is squatting again, and minute six pull-ups.
The pattern is squats, pull-ups, squats, push-ups, squats, pull-ups, etc. The goal is to stay within the workout's formula for as long as possible.
Don't do more than 60 squats in any round.
In any case, stay moving for 12 minutes.”
Now I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure this is going to suck ass. I’ll let you know how it goes.
I actually need to burn off some stress…I’ve had a fairly shitty day. One of the kids I babysit and by “kids I babysit” I mean grown men I supervise, popped positive for weed. And that somehow translates to an assload more work for me.
When will people learn that doing drugs is just wrong? I learned a long time ago that there is no amount of alcohol that you can drink that makes it illegal.
Fucktards.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Fran
I know I just said I wasn’t going to blogger about my crossfit workouts, but as any of you that have been reading for any amount of time know…I’m a goddamn liar most of the time.
Yesterday’s workout was “Fran” and since I’m usually a day late and a dollar short, I did her this morning. For the record, “Fran” is:
Three rounds, 21-15- and 9 reps, for time of:
95 pound Thruster
Pull-ups
Just so you know, I fucking hate thrusters…FUCKING HATE.
I hate thrusters more than communism.
I hate thrusters more than the wife’s secret credit cards.
I hate thrusters more than crazy Muslims.
I hate thrusters more than the New England Patriots.
I hate thrusters more than white guys with dreadlocks.
I hate thrusters more than Colin Farrell movies.
I hate thrusters more than dependence on foreign oil.
I hate thrusters more than people who wear flat brim fitted hats.
I hate thrusters more than Mafia Wars.
I hate thrusters more than Cheetos Commercials.
I hate thrusters more than goddamn hippies.
Ahhh…I take that one back. Nothing’s worse than goddamn hippies.
Wanna feel like a fat piece of shit? Watch Heather here beat Fran under three minutes.
Yesterday’s workout was “Fran” and since I’m usually a day late and a dollar short, I did her this morning. For the record, “Fran” is:
Three rounds, 21-15- and 9 reps, for time of:
95 pound Thruster
Pull-ups
Just so you know, I fucking hate thrusters…FUCKING HATE.
I hate thrusters more than communism.
I hate thrusters more than the wife’s secret credit cards.
I hate thrusters more than crazy Muslims.
I hate thrusters more than the New England Patriots.
I hate thrusters more than white guys with dreadlocks.
I hate thrusters more than Colin Farrell movies.
I hate thrusters more than dependence on foreign oil.
I hate thrusters more than people who wear flat brim fitted hats.
I hate thrusters more than Mafia Wars.
I hate thrusters more than Cheetos Commercials.
I hate thrusters more than goddamn hippies.
Ahhh…I take that one back. Nothing’s worse than goddamn hippies.
Wanna feel like a fat piece of shit? Watch Heather here beat Fran under three minutes.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Headlines
- I know I haven’t written in a while…fuck off, I’m busy.
- I’m sorry, that was mean…but it was kind of rude of you to give me so much shit just because I want to spend a little time with my family. Geez. Not to mention I did just get home from fucking Afghanistan and here you are busting my balls about updating my blog so you have something to read at work when you should be working.
- I do feel a little bad for cheating…on account of I have been balls deep in Facebook, but couldn’t find the time to blogger anything. Maybe you guys should just friend request me.
- “Balls deep” is my new saying. I use it at least 14 times a day…usually at the most inappropriate moment.
- Did I tell you guys I had to switch jobs again? Yeah, the powers that be decided my career would be benefited more if I became a Section Chief. So they put me back in the fucking office. Little do they know, I couldn’t give two shits about my career and I’m just trying to last these last two years until I retire without slitting someone’s throat.
- I know I said I was going to blog about my crossfit workouts, but after I wrote that it just sounded like way too much work. You’ll just have to trust me that it is going well. I’m seriously thinking about putting a crossfit gym in my garage. I just need to find a home for all the shit that is currently taking up that space.
- If you are friends with me on Facebook, you know that I am totally obsessed with Bejeweled Blitz…you might even say I’m balls deep in it.
- I went to see Clutch on New Years Eve. It was fucking awesome…as if there was ever any doubt.
- I got Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and Left 4 Dead 2 of Christmas not to mention a totally kickass Blu-ray player.
- I am currently reading The Sagittarius Command by R. M. Meluch…who just happens to be my cousin Becky. It’s a great story…the third in a series, but whenever I read her stuff it reminds me that she is a published author and I’m a piece of shit.
- Writing that bit about Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 reminded me that I could be doing that instead of this…so bye.
- I’m sorry, that was mean…but it was kind of rude of you to give me so much shit just because I want to spend a little time with my family. Geez. Not to mention I did just get home from fucking Afghanistan and here you are busting my balls about updating my blog so you have something to read at work when you should be working.
- I do feel a little bad for cheating…on account of I have been balls deep in Facebook, but couldn’t find the time to blogger anything. Maybe you guys should just friend request me.
- “Balls deep” is my new saying. I use it at least 14 times a day…usually at the most inappropriate moment.
- Did I tell you guys I had to switch jobs again? Yeah, the powers that be decided my career would be benefited more if I became a Section Chief. So they put me back in the fucking office. Little do they know, I couldn’t give two shits about my career and I’m just trying to last these last two years until I retire without slitting someone’s throat.
- I know I said I was going to blog about my crossfit workouts, but after I wrote that it just sounded like way too much work. You’ll just have to trust me that it is going well. I’m seriously thinking about putting a crossfit gym in my garage. I just need to find a home for all the shit that is currently taking up that space.
- If you are friends with me on Facebook, you know that I am totally obsessed with Bejeweled Blitz…you might even say I’m balls deep in it.
- I went to see Clutch on New Years Eve. It was fucking awesome…as if there was ever any doubt.
- I got Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and Left 4 Dead 2 of Christmas not to mention a totally kickass Blu-ray player.
- I am currently reading The Sagittarius Command by R. M. Meluch…who just happens to be my cousin Becky. It’s a great story…the third in a series, but whenever I read her stuff it reminds me that she is a published author and I’m a piece of shit.
- Writing that bit about Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 reminded me that I could be doing that instead of this…so bye.
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